by Jimmy Tsai
Continuing from Part 1…
All right, all right. Let’s talk fantasy basketball. Tell us your current status as far as how many leagues you’re playing in, what place you’re in, and then your history as far as how many leagues and how well you’ve done.
I generally try to only have one team in all my fantasy sports. Just because, as everybody knows, they take a lot of time if you really want to do it right. So I have one NBA team that I’ve had—I believe we’ve had the league for six years. And I’ve been fortunate enough to win every year. It’s a pretty competitive league.
Wow. Since the inception of the league?
Since the inception of the league. The league has gotten better as the years have gone by, as most leagues do.
(in deep baritone voice) Impressive. Most impressive.
I did have to share the title one year. We tied. I believe twice, maybe three times, on the last day of the season, I’ve made up some ground. But, admittedly, I take it pretty seriously.
Is it roto league? Or head-to-head?
It’s a roto league. Basically, I would say that I’m incredibly interested in trading, more so than most people. And, like in all facets of life, I try to pride myself in being a good listener–
(laughs)
–and so, honestly, I think that when I’m making trades, even in this medium, it’s a lot about understanding what people are saying and reacting and trying to give them what they want. I would also say that the rest of the world, understandably, is obsessed with scoring points-wise, and so, if you can stockpile people who score, you can always market them as desirable to other people.
Very interesting observation.
That would be one little secret.
And what place are you currently in?
Tied for third in a fourteen-team league. With a bunch of professionals you probably know in the NBA and in the Lakers’ circle, journalists-wise. It’s a challenge this year. I think I’m way behind, too. Like 18 points behind, so it’s not going to be easy to pull this one off.
Okay, so you said one of your strategies is to stockpile guys who score at a high clip. Do you have any other general strategies as far as players that you go after? Drafting some of your favorite fantasy players over the last few years? Is there a certain type of player that you go after or that you like?
I’d say that the fundamental trait beyond anything else is playing time. If you’re going to look at one stat, you look at minutes. Just because you have to have the possibility of making something happen.
Or being able to project a guy playing minutes. The number of guys who play heavy minutes and don’t do anything is, like, five guys maybe. The Derek Fishers, the Thabo Sefoloshas.
Very few players who play heavy minutes don’t do anything.
So if you’re going to study anything, study who’s playing, who’s starting to get playing time, who might get more playing time, and go from that premise more than anything else.
Very insightful. I only started gleaning that this year, actually. Looking at PT. You have any favorite players that you always try to go after?
Not tremendously.
Give me your top five fantasy players overall. Who would be your first pick: CP3 or LeBron?
I actually had the first pick in our draft briefly. I traded up from four to get the first pick and then on draft night, somebody who had ten really wanted the number one pick, and so I traded down. Which might have been a regrettable decision.
I would’ve taken LeBron with the first pick. I didn’t think CP3 would be as good this year as his team starts to falter a little around him. The talent around him has definitely dropped off. That team has some issues with payroll and what direction they’re really headed in. And LeBron is a freak. He’s driven and he’s getting better.
So can I assume CP3 would be your number two pick?
Yeah. But I will say that big assist guys – there aren’t that many of them. I feel you can work around assists somewhat. You can build a team with other guys getting assists at other positions, and then do something like I did last season – I rallied to win the championship – where I traded for a bunch of assists. Because if you can get some of these Nashes or Deron Williams or even lesser players who put up seven assists a game, you can make a huge run.
It’s one of those categories in roto style where you can make a huge run by just making a few moves. I don’t over-weight assists until I need them. So I would be more inclined to draft LeBron because he gives you assists but he gives you everything else.
But I would more likely try to build a more balanced team. A bigger team, and then go for the smaller categories like assists or steals. The smaller guys, basically.
And who’s three, four, and five in your book?
It’s hard to say. Our league doesn’t use free throw percentage, first of all. We use free throws made, so that changes things definitely. That vaults Dwight Howard into the mix. But I thought he would be better this year, like I said. I just actually traded for him recently because I feel like he’ll get more serious as the playoffs near and he’ll turn up his production. And I need what he gives, which is substantial in certain categories.
Well, without free throw percentage, his major weakness is negated.
Yeah. He doesn’t do assists well, but his field goal percentage is ridiculously valuable. And blocks and rebounds. Kevin Durant I knew would be good, but didn’t know [he] would be that good.
So that’s your number three guy then?
Going into the season, in our league, I would’ve had Dwight Howard a little ahead of Durant. As it turns out, probably not right.
Taking into account everything that we’ve seen happen this season, Durant goes number three?
Oh yeah. Durant’s ridiculous. A lot of admiration for him.
Round out your top five then. Nowitzki? Kobe?
Kobe’s nice. Nowitzki’s been better than I expected. I passed on him in the draft. Given what I said about Dallas, I probably should have taken him more seriously. But a guy like Steve Nash—another guy I just traded for—is top ten or eleven. Another guy I certainly wouldn’t draft but when I need him, then I’ll go get him and give up whatever I have to give up to get him.
Who is it supposed to be? I don’t look at those players. I don’t waste my time looking at players I can’t get. Who’s up there? Carmelo?
Yeah, Carmelo is probably one of those players in ranked higher than his original projection. That three-through-ten is kind of a hard position to draft in. Because it could be any of these guys — Carmelo, Kobe, Nowitzki, Chris Bosh. Or at the tail end of that are the Josh Smiths and the Gerald Wallaces of the world — guys who basically produce in every statistical category. Kevin Durant, obviously.
Josh Smith has been amazing. I’ve been trying to trade for him. He’s ranked top thirty or something. Gerald Wallace I drafted in the second round and people thought I was crazy. But I made the mistake of trading him. He was bad and then he got better and better. But there are some things he does—he doesn’t pass. I didn’t like some of those things. So I ended up trading him, which was a catastrophic mistake. I drafted both him and David Lee both.
David Lee must have paid off dividends, though.
I traded them. In the same deal. It was a terrible trade.
Ouch.
With Bill Plaschke. I sort of felt bad for him. I was winning; I was right up there at the beginning. Some complacency set in. I win every year, and I thought, “It’s close enough; it’s a close enough trade.” Because I really wanted Devin Harris. I though Devin Harris would really step it up—the Nets were terrible, Harris was terrible, and I needed assists at the time. I still think career-wise, he’s going to be a great player. But because of injury reasons and for mental reasons, he was not happening this year.
I think I made the reverse mistake. You can ask anyone in my fantasy leagues. I almost always draft Gerald Wallace or find a way to get him within the first couple of months because he’s always been on my radar as one of those guys that produces in all those different categories. He’s not going to blow up and score thirty points every single game, but every other game, he’ll put up three or four blocks, a couple of steals, and he gets plenty of points and rebounds. And this year, for some reason, I guess he was on everyone else’s radar so he usually went in the second round somewhere. So I didn’t draft him or try to pick him up. Now I’m paying for it.
And the guy who drafted Josh Smith this year in the late third round. He was leading most of the season in large part because he had Carmelo and Josh Smith, who are both huge value picks for this season.
Okay, now onto the OPL questions. “Other People’s Lunches.” Do you know where the term comes from?
I can’t say I do. It sounds familiar to me. When you originally brought it up, I actually even thought about looking it up. But I did not, so you’re going to educate me.
Okay, I’m going to give you the scene, and I’m going to see if you can tell me the movie. It’s from a movie.
I assumed that much.
The set-up is a rather large man holding a fat, chubby kid. And the verbal goes as thus:
“Are these all your lunches?”
“You mean you eat other people’s lunches?!”
And the kid nods his head, he’s got stuff in his mouth. And then the big guy says:
“Stop it!!!”
And then a bunch of Cheetos fall out of the fat kid’s mouth.
(laughs)
I’ll give it to you one more time:
“Are these all your lunches?”
“You mean you eat other people’s lunches?!”
“Stop it!!!”
(pause)
Care to take a guess? Come on, the voice you have to know.
Obviously, the voice. I’m trying to remember those types of movies of movies that he’s made. They’re all so s***ty– (laughs)
It’s a classic!
Kindergarten Cop?
YES!!! That’s correct!
I was trying to go through all those movies, like Twins…
Yup—that’s Kindergarten Cop.
(laughs)
As a final question: what is your favorite Arnold quote.
Wow–
There are a lot to choose from.
There’s lots to choose from. I don’t want to be obvious. Let me think about that.
(pause)
Hmm…
I’ll give you another one of my favorites besides the “Other people’s lunches” quote. You’ll know when his part comes up, but the exchange is:
“Da Yen, what is best in life?”
“The open step, a freed horse. Falcons at your rest, and the wind in your hair.”
“WRONG! Conan, what is best in life?”
“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women.”
To be honest with you, I don’t think I’ve ever really watched that movie.
WHA–?!
I’ve seen parts of it, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched the entire movie.
You’re missing out, man.
A movie that I actually really liked at the time—I don’t know if it was really that popular—was Total Recall.
Another classic! Sure!
I can’t remember if there’s any quotes–
“Consider it a divorce.”
(laughs)
Yeah! That’s a really good one.
Or remember the scene when they’re on the elevator and Michael Ironside is hanging off, and Arnold says–
“See you at the party, Richter!”
–and his arms are ripped off.
That one’s more memorable, actually. Is that considered a really good movie?
Oh, absolutely! Yeah, I think it’s a really good movie. Phillip K. Dick adaptations have been very popular in the last 10-15 years. Well, that was going to be my next question: what is your favorite Arnold movie? Would you say it’s Total Recall then?
There are other ones that I liked, but that movie stands out to me because it was different, sort of ahead of its time in some ways.
Thank you so much for your time!
